By TripleDistilled
4 Nov 2018

SEN. GRASSLEY: This session is called to order.

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to provide a brief recap of the events of the last several weeks.

During the course of the confirmation hearing on Judge Kavanaugh, the Democrats attempted to impugn the judge's character, his judicial temperament, and his qualifications as a legal scholar. Judge Kavanaugh made them look foolish. At this point, it seemed likely that his nomination would be confirmed.

Shortly before the committee was due to vote, Senator Feinstein alleged that she was in possession of a letter - and had been since June - by one Christine Blasey Ford, purporting to provide evidence of a sexual assault by the nominee when he was in high school. The fact that Senator Feinstein only brought this up when it seemed that Judge Kavanaugh was on the verge of confirmation was extremely suspicious. The Senator did not even provide me with a copy of the letter, even after flogging it in the headlines....

....Ms Feinstein, you are out of order. You have not been recognized by the chair. In fact, the only chair you are likely to be recognized by is the one holding the letter that you sat your fat ass on for three months. Yeah, I know you like to be called "Senator," but you should be aware that Senator McConnell has scheduled a vote tomorrow for the purpose of effecting your expulsion from the Senate, so you might as well start getting used to "Ms."

Where was I? Yes. After a thorough review of these allegations, in which the supposed victim of this assault could not provide the location or the time, and after none of the witnesses she cited in any way supported her story, it seemed once more that Judge Kavanaugh would be confirmed.

At this point, a second accuser, Deborah Ramirez, went public with similar accusations, this time purporting to be from the nominee's days at college. Her story also did not bear scrutiny, and was discounted. Once again, it appeared that Judge Kavanaugh would likely be confirmed.

Dr Ford then began negotiating her case in a rather bizarre manner, declining to testify but insisting that the FBI - which had already completed six very thorough background checks of Judge Kavanaugh - investigate the alleged assault. The FBI, quite correctly, declined to do so. There followed a series of delaying tactics, culminating in Dr Ford's agreement to testify before this committee, although she did not want to testify under oath. It appears that she was concerned about a perjury charge and did not want to....

....Ms Feinstein, I must ask you to shut up. If you persist, I will have you removed.

Shit. Lost my place again. Anyway, with Dr Ford set to appear - or not - today, Mr Michael Avenatti, the noted porn-star lawyer....that makes him a pimp-lawyer, doesn't it?....announced that his client - one Julie Swetnik, not the porn star - told a fantastic story of being drugged and gang-raped at a party she had attended when she was in college and the nominee was in high school. She claims to have attended ten such parties. In other words, she was a witness to repeated felonies but did not report them, kept attending the gang-rape parties, and actually accepted a drink offered to her, when she must have suspected that it would be drugged.

This charade has come to an end. We have no need to hear the scheduled testimony of Dr Ford, nor do we need to pay any further attention to the claims of Ms Swetnik.

I move that we hold an immediate vote to recommend confirmation of Judge Kavanaugh as a Justice of the Supreme Court....

....Sergeant-at-Arms, please remove Ms Feinstein from the chamber. Thank you.....aah, blessed silence.

We have a second. All in favor?